Things Not to Say to A Writer

Earlier this week, thousands of writers around the world united under a common hashtag: #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter. It was an outlet for all of the disappointment and frustration that come hand-in-hand with trying to make it as a writer. For all the people who see our profession as either a fun hobby or a willing attempt to pursue poverty.

Here are some of my favorites. Yeah, I know, it ends up being more than ten, but this was just way too much fun.

Writing? Sounds Fun and Easy!

Don’t you love it when you tell someone about your writing, and they treat it with all the respect of gardening or knitting? Like they’d just love to go ahead and pick it up, if only they could find the time between all of the other more important things in their lives.

‘I wish *I* had the spare time to write.’ #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter We have the SAME amount. We MAKE the time by sacrificing other things!

— Tamara Mataya (@FeakySnucker) July 28, 2015

Wow, you spend a lot of time writing. I wish I had time to write, sounds fun, but I’m so busy with my real job. #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

— Brooke Kolcow (@bkolcow) July 28, 2015

“I was thinking about writing a YA book. I don’t read it, but it seems easy.” #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

— Heather Marie (@HeatherMarieYA) July 28, 2015

“Oh, you work from home? I bet you have tons of free time!” #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

— Theresa Hissong (@AuthorTHissong) July 28, 2015

So You Write That, Huh?

There’s nothing like confessing the thing that drives you to write — what makes your creative mind tick — only to have it dismissed as a childish fancy.

YA? Why don’t you right REAL books? #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

— Laura Zats (@LZats) July 28, 2015

(I got this the other day) You write sci-fi? That’s not really my thing. Isn’t all sci-fi just like Star Trek? #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

— Meredith Tate (@mltate24) July 28, 2015

“You write fantasy? So, are there like elves in your story?” #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

— Jamie McLachlan (@JamieMcLachlan8) July 28, 2015

#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter 1. Why do you read so much YA? Grow up.

— Dannie Morin (@Dannie_Morin) July 28, 2015

Here, Let Me Tell You What To Do

Sometimes people hear that you’re a writer, and mistake that as an invitation to tell you how you should go about doing such a thing. Probably based on something they read on the internet.

You should write a (fill-in-the-blank) book (instead of what you are working on). #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

— Writer’s Digest (@WritersDigest) July 28, 2015

#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter My life would make SUCH a good book. Got a few minutes?

— Guy Gavriel Kay (@guygavrielkay) July 28, 2015

Person: Well, your story is really good, but I think it would be better if you *begins 2completely change plot* #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

— A. L. Woodson (@aliwoodson) July 28, 2015

A: What’s your book about? B: (Elevator pitch) C: Oh. That sounds like this other book. You should go read it. #tenthingsnottosaytoawriter

— Dan Koboldt (@DanKoboldt) July 28, 2015

Writer, I Shall Exploit You Now

A similar gem of a response is when people learn you’re a writer, and interpret that as “service person.”

#tenthingsnottosaytoawriter That’s awesome, let me tell you about this book I want to write.

— Suzanne Robb (@srobb76) July 28, 2015

#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter “Wanna take a look at this <insert any form of the written word here> that I wrote?”

— Matthew Hubbard (@matthew_hubbard) July 28, 2015

No offense, but…

Last but not least are the people who just don’t get it. Or, maybe they do, and they just really want to make us feel bad.

“Why does it take your books so long to come out?” #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

— N. K. Jemisin (@nkjemisin) July 28, 2015

“I don’t actually read all that much. I mean, who has time for it nowadays?” #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

— Thomas J. Salerno (@Salerno_Thomas) July 28, 2015

I’m worried you’ll die before your series gets finished. #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter

— John Scalzi (@scalzi) July 28, 2015

#TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter Have you written anything I’ve heard of?

— Kelley Grant (@kgrantwrites) July 28, 2015

You’ve worked on that for 6 months. You sell it for .99. You’ve sold 300 copies. You’ve made 81 cents an hour! #tenthingsnottosaytoawriter

— K Grubb (@10minnovelist) July 28, 2015

Please Share the Love

If you liked this article, please share it with your writing friends using the buttons below. You can also click to send a ready-made tweet:

Click to Tweet Highlights of #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter compiled by @DanKoboldt: http://bit.ly/1N2kFdN

Click to Tweet Highlights of #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter compiled by @DanKoboldt: http://bit.ly/1N2kFdN “I wish I had spare time to write.”

Click to Tweet Highlights of #TenThingsNotToSayToAWriter compiled by @DanKoboldt: http://bit.ly/1N2kFdN “YA? Why don’t you write REAL books?”

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